Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My vagina just clenched in fear
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
