More tranny stories later!
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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