I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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