just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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