I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
