1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
