you guys were way drunker than both of me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
