I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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