dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
