I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
