Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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