I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
there is puke in my bra ... again
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
