I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
