Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
