and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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