Are we in a gay sports bar?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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