So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
