I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
