We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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