Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
