toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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