Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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