Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
