Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
