Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
