i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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