I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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