hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
