the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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