Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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