If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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