he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I CAN MOONWALK!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
