Are we in a gay sports bar?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
