I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
