i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
