thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
