New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
