To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
