My nipple is on Facebook.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
