Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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