You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
