It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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