You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
