Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
