I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
