After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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