I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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