I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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