Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
