i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
