Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
