Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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