Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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