i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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