the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
