she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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