Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
