did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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